Archive for February, 2009

Feb 28 2009

Teaching Writing (babygirl Unveiled!)

Published by topspun under Language-y Stuff,babygirl

Or barely, hereby, in the form of the most improbable signature. - Jacques Derrida, “Signature Event Context”

For the last week or so we’ve been working more with babygirl on her letters. She was really resisting writing anything before now, but somehow she managed to interest her in producing letters rather than just identifying them. She’s been pretty good with the alphabet for awhile. For some reason, she really shrank from having to make letters, so we’re happy that this week she finally got into it. Every day that I picked her up from daycare, I saw that she was practicing her letters along with her coloring. She even had her full name written out on one of her coloring pictures.

So, anyway, I’ve been debating whether to scan and post one of these attempts, because all she writes is her name (it’s only three distinct letters), and that would give up the whole anonymous blog gambit, at least as far as babygirl is concerned. She now wants to write her full name, so we’re just going to go ahead and unveil babygirl’s recent (and, to my mind, best) creation. I think it’s pretty tight, less than three weeks before her third birthday, but I’m the daddy, so I get to puff everything up like that.

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We’ll work on getting it inside those lines, but there are worse problems one could have, I suppose!

Since a very young age, I’ve been fascinated by the alphabet, which I think explains a lot of my subsequent activities. But watching her struggle with letterforms, slowly improve, and then just grasp them – it brings back all that old wonder. She was making A’s today as part of her quest to write her full first name, and the most difficult part seems to be connecting the lines at the top, bringing them to a point. She draws parallel lines and then cuts across them with a curve. But she’s really tough on herself. She says, “No, that’s not an ‘A.’” Keep working on it, Ellie. You’ll get there.

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Feb 27 2009

Visualizing the Disaster

Published by topspun under meltdown


The Crisis of Credit Visualized from Jonathan Jarvis on Vimeo.

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Feb 26 2009

User-Centeredness as Control Diagram

Published by topspun under usability

I had a conversation with a colleague about my Three Dogmas of User-Centeredness post, for which I had planned a follow-up, but the conversation convinced me that I needed a bit of a clarification before I get to that. Since that post is also apparently linked on some Indiana discussion forum to which I have no access, I guess this will have to serve as a pseudo-response as well.

The problem for my colleague, as I take it, is that I spent so much time in critique that it was not quite clear what I liked. So, my colleague first brought up a situation in which Adobe users both identified a bug or vulnerability and developed a patch for it. So, you like that sort of thing, right? Well, sure, but that’s the kind of relationship that I’m interrogating in that post. Oh. Alright, how about crowdsourcing? Isn’t that more democratic? Well, maybe, I guess, but that’s the kind of relationship that I’m interrogating in that post. (And truly, I identified Lessig and similar writers as “ideologists of free culture,” but they are almost a breath of fresh air next to Tapscott, Howe, and Company, though the latter writers tell us everything we need to know about the former). The frustration is at this point clear. Well, what’s the alternative? I’ll defer that question for later, but I’d first like to offer what might serve as a clarification, and I’ll proceed by analogy here, sort of, by referring to Foucault’s Discipline and Punish. I say sort of, because it’s not merely an analogy, since the system and method of Foucault’s work really drives the analysis in the first place, but it is an analogy in the sense that I’m trying to clarify my position by demonstrating a similar shift. On to it.

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Feb 23 2009

Earwormery

Published by topspun under Sooooo meta

So Zach and Miri Make a Porno had one scene that depicted a high school reunion, and they played about a 4 second clip of Len’s “Steal My Sunshine,” a kind of classic summer pool party/beach song from 1999. You know you sang along to it in your car in 1999, so don’t even bother lying. Damned if the song hasn’t been on a loop in my head for the past four days as a result. I tried the Universal Earworm Erase Program (those classic couple of bars from Ironman), and it isn’t working. “L-A-T-E-R that week” is simply too powerful a lyric. And here’s the bad thing: I’m not sure I want it to go away. It’s mildly pleasurable. I’m even starting to justify its profundity, noting that the first verse ends with a remarkably Nietzschean sentiment (“Of course you can’t become if you only say what you would have done…”) . I’m starting to wonder if I’ll be like that guy who had the hiccups for 60 years: is this only the beginning of a lifelong “Steal My Sunshine” earworm? Will it go on forever? And what kind of person will I be if it does? I won’t link the video, not being in the business of subjecting you to this oddly pleasant torture, but I do feel I have to share this experience, maybe as therapy. DO NOT go look it up on YouTube to hear it. You’ll regret it.

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Feb 22 2009

Evil. Banality. You Know the Drill.

Yup yup.  It’s that time again.

  • Victory! Having scarfed down about 20 chocolate chip cookies, there was no way I was going to get to sleep at my usual bedtime of 1am. But I tried anyway, tossing and turning and generally getting no closer to sleep. Then I watched as my daughter came scampering out of her room, headed for the bathroom. She went in, pulled down her pajamas and her pull-ups, sat on her potty, made her pee, dumped it, wiped, and flushed the toilet. In the middle of the night. This is a great victory in the Seven Red house, and I’m just so proud that I’m telling all you fine folks about it. Potty training was an ordeal, but what I’ve learned is that it’s a completely non-linear process. We worked on her for four months, through refusal, tantrums, false starts, hiccups, half-steps, half-a-dozen how-to books, and massive frustration. We were getting nowhere. Then, one day, I sat with her for about an hour and simply refused to let her leave the bathroom. She settled in, did her thing, and then took to it. Overnight. She went from refusing the potty and saying “I’m a BABY,” to using it all the time, as if by magic. It’s clear that she could have been potty trained earlier, but she just didn’t want to do it. But a night-time trip, completely self-motivated? It’s a beautiful thing.
  • Irony! We live on the third floor of a three-flat, as they call them here in Chicago. Downstairs from us is a nice guy named Steven, who lives (I think) with his girlfriend (who I’ve never seen). Below them lives a couple who moved in when we did – the building had just been through a gut rehab, and we were the first tenants. The first floor couple are married, but they’re young, maybe in their mid-twenties. They fight all the time. It’s really unbelievable. I go out back to smoke, and I hear them two floors down in these brutal conversations, like “Can’t you even understand the question I’m asking you? Are you stupid? “Are you?” “I’m so sick of dealing with your shit!” All the time, like that. This qualifies, in my book, as “putting your business in the street,” and she knows that there is nothing I detest more than putting one’s business in the street. I don’t think she and I have ever had a fight in public, because as soon as one even comes close to starting, I mutter something like “business in the street” and disengage. And we don’t wonder whether they have the same fights inside. The basement of our building is a general storage area for all the tenants, and we put tons of stuff down there because we have almost zero closet space. So, from time to time we have to retrieve this or that from the basement. As it turns out, you can hear conversations in the first floor apartment pretty clearly from the basement. It goes like this: “I can’t fucking believe you. You asshole.” “Oh, like you’re better. Fuck you.” “God, something so simple and you still manage to screw it up.” Etc. All the time. Now the kicker for this came about three months ago. I was in my usual state of insomnia, and heard some ruckus outside at around 2:30am.It was so loud that it woke she up: some commotion in the street. We both went to the front window, and saw a very drunk woman laid out on the ground, with a man trying to pull her to her feet, tugging her arm roughly and yelling “Get up! You never fucking listen to me!” The woman was saying, screaming “I want to stay here!” “Get the fuck up!!” she and I looked at each other like – no, is that them, our neighbors? People started coming out of their buildings to see what was going on and help the woman into her house, and the police even came. Sure enough, it was our downstairs neighbors. A truer instance of putting your business in the street would be hard to imagine. The woman was literally in the gutter.  Two days ago, she was yelling at her husband to let her into the car, and he drove off while she was still gripping the door handle. This as I was walking up the block, so I reached our front door at the same time as she did. “Uh, how you doin’?” I asked awkwardly. So today I was coming in, and I bumped into Steven, the nice guy on the second floor, not connected with the first-floor couple. But he says to me,  mistaking me for the first floor guy (I had a hat and scarf on), “Sorry about the noise last night.” Huh? Then he sees that I’m his upstairs neighbor and says “Oh, sorry again. The first floor people were banging on the ceiling because we were being too loud.” I smiled. Nope, I would actually come down and knock on your door if that was happening. Since I’m like, an adult. We parted ways at the second landing. But I just had to laugh that the first-floor couple would have the nerve to tell other tenants to, um, lower the noise. Amazing. Now, she thinks that they shouldn’t be married. I agree. They seem to despise each other. But I will say that there is at least one activity they seem to enjoy doing together, and they are no less loud at that than they are in their fights. Let’s just say that I hear a lot when I am outside for my smoke breaks…
  • Fluffy! We watched Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist. Eh. I can do without that Juno kid, for reals. Always with the same character. I get it, with the halting delivery and self-consciously charming not-like-the-other-high-school-guys bit. I really do. I’ve had a television series and now three movies to learn it, and I get it now. Basta! But I will say this. The movie gets exactly right the teenage all-night-Manhattan-trip, even down to the Rasta guys who invariably butt into your conversations. We used to do this occasionally when I was a teenager, especially after the rave clubs opened on Hudson Street, and it was always exactly like that. In similar news, we watched Zack and Miri Make a Porno last night. I also get the whole Seth Rogan bit. she calls it the “schlubby guy gets hot chick” appeal. For my part, I don’t think any of those Judd Apatow movies (and their various Roganesque offspring) are about women at all. They are about the intense pathology of the male friendship. The women in these movies are merely functions to contrast the male friendships. This is most obvious in Pineapple Express, but re-watch The 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Superbad, whichever, and tell me these aren’t primarily studies of the contemporary male friendship circle.
  • Cookie! It’s all like Revolutionary Road up in here today. I made my ass-kicking Organization Man 1950′s Style Meatloaf and she baked a batch of her awesome cookies, which is why I’m still up writing this blog post at 2:56 in the morning. I should have been asleep for twenty minutes by now! (I don’t really sleep. It’s a personal failing). I won’t even try to describe the cookies. This is what the kitchen counter looked like at around 4:30 this afternoon:

dscn1536

  • Pretty! As in, you think you’re so…

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dscn1540

  • Groovy! Michael White and the original Liberty Jazz Band were just incredible on American Routes today, playing live at the House of Blues in New Orleans. Knock you down good. We had it on when we were eating dinner, and I was just mesmerized by it, as I always am by good live jazz. There are worse ways to spend an hour than this, I assure you:

American Routes, February 21

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Feb 20 2009

13 Years

Published by topspun under meltdown,new york,work

From the Former Crooked Employer files, the trustee appointed to investigate and disburse the remaining Madoff assets reported today that Madoff’s much vaunted fund does not show a record of investing in any securities whatsoever in the past – wait for it now – thirteen years. This revelation is both jaw-droppingly shocking and perversely hilarious. Let me translate: all that money that these people were putting into the Madoff fund? He never bought one single share of stock or one bond unit with it. In the last thirteen years! He was claiming consistent 10% returns on money that he never invested. We knew already, of course, that this fund was a Ponzi scheme, but this revelation really raises it to the level of a pure Ponzi scheme: he didn’t even try to make any legitimate investment returns with the money flowing into the fund. Zero securities. I’m literally giggling. It’s so brazen it’s funny.

More importantly for my narcissistic purposes, the thirteen year number is crucial. That would put the birth of the fraud at precisely the time when I worked in operations at Madoff. Sending out statements. Statements that listed the securities that were purportedly bought and sold with the fund’s money.* In other words, it must have been that all those statements we were sending out for client tax purposes were filled with false information, because they all indicated the revenue generated by a standard set of equity securities. I know this because I stared at them all day long. Here’s more on Madoff’s statement from a Reuters article:

Each month, Madoff sent out elaborate statements of trades conducted by his broker-dealer. Last November, for example, he issued a statement to one investor showing he bought shares of Merck & Co Inc, Microsoft Corp, Exxon Mobil Corp and Amgen Inc among others.

It also showed transactions in Fidelity Investments’ Spartan Fund. But Fidelity, the world’s biggest mutual fund company, has no record of Madoff or his company making any investments in its funds.

That is exactly what I remember of the statements we were sending out; that’s what they looked like. Maybe I really will get a federal subpoena! I’d be happy to speak with them about stapling technique. In any case, the notion that Madoff would be able to pull this fraud off alone becomes increasingly dubious with each new revelation. Are we to believe that Madoff, by himself, stayed up late at night fabricating the statements? I have my own ideas about how this might have worked, but I’ll keep them to myself.

* As a note, Madoff’s business was split into two sections, standard trading and the (Ponzi) fund. It may be that the statements I was sending out were for the standard trading side of the operation rather than the fund.

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Feb 19 2009

Graffiti Fridays: Killing the Line

Published by topspun under Graffiti Fridays,chicago

Last Friday I showed you NINE’s piece on the rooftop near Montrose. It turns out that this guy has been going off, stamping versions of this burner on rooftops up and down the Brown Line, essentially, as we used to say, killing the line. On Tuesday I noticed a new NINE piece just north of the Chicago and Franklin stop, and Thursday morning on the way in I noticed yet another NINE piece at Diversey. The guy’s on a crime spree. You’ll often get this in writers: bursts of activity followed by relative lulls. I think all of these went up in the last two weeks, which is a pretty productive two weeks, all things considered. There must be some study on that feeling though, where you get over on one rooftop, and then you’re just out of your mind to do another one, Rusto fiend, just crazy for it. I remember this. It’s like you don’t do anything for two months, and then you catch a fill-in on some borrowed cans, and suddenly it’s “Let’s go rack some cans we gotta go out tonight tonight!” The high is unbelievable. Nothing like it since, really (not nothing better, just nothing like it). Anyway, in recognition of some nice work, I’m doing an all NINE Graffiti Fridays today to showcase this guy’s stuff. We’ll start with the detail flick from last week.

dscn1513a
NINE, Brown Line off Montrose

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NINE, just north of Chicago and Franklin, Brown Line

dscn1519b
NINE WRS, Brown Line off Diversey

And just for context on the Chicago and Franklin and the Diversey piece:

dscn1517

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paint, says the sign. Well, OK. So, how would this rank on the scale of risk/reputation? Pretty high, I’d say. If we go back to the original claims in the series, they are as follows: graffiti writers write primarily for other writers, with non-writers serving as a secondary and for the most part unimportant audience; graffiti is asignifying – the tag doesn’t “mean” anything, but rather pushes and pulls categories; graffiti is a reputation economy, where writers invest risk in return for reputation – the whole set of categories runs on this engine of risk-reputation, with aesthetics being one factor, but a factor heavily affected by the risk-economic considerations (i.e., complex pieces take longer, and thus increase risk); finally, people who don’t know about graffiti tend to either aestheticize it (“I hate the chicken scratch tagging, but some of those murals are really beautiful!”) or make it into a standard political statement, a signifier (graffiti means “rebellion” or appropriates from and thus participates in mainstream cultural forms). And yes, I understand that one could read me as saying that graffiti signifies its own risk, is a trace of that risk. This is true: it’s at once a trace of the risk and independent of it, just as it’s at once completely dependent on mainstream culture (which provides the prohibition, and therefore the risk) and independent of it, in that it’s not particularly interested in speaking to mainstream culture. This is a very odd relationship that has gone more or less unstudied as a conceptual matter.

According to the economic considerations I outlined, these would rate high for three reasons: 1) they would take far more time than a simpler work; I’d estimate that each of these would take somewhere around 45 minutes to an hour. The Chicago and Franklin piece is probably the least risky from the point of view of time (30 minutes maybe), but it’s no cakewalk.  So, essentially, for thirty minutes to an hour, NINE was in the open committing what is in Illinois an ongoing felony. Think about that. Hardly any other crimes work this way, from a temporal perspective. 2) The time is one thing, the location is another. As I discussed, graffiti is about real estate. You could do an eight-hour piece in a place nobody would see it, and somebody else would get more credit for five or six quick three minute jobs in busy locations. It’s all about the risk you’re incurring. If you check the context of these, the locations are in the red zone of exposure. Rooftops are particularly tricky, because if you’re spotted, you’re pretty much caught. There’s nowhere to go. The Montrose piece is on a well-lit, very exposed rooftop directly adjacent to the platform, so, you’re pretty much out there for the taking if somebody comes up on the platform and decides to call the cops. I’d give the guy props for doing even 10 minute fill-ins in those locations, so this is above and beyond.

Finally, 3) from the point of view of aesthetics, these are very well done. The classic New York style (pre-90′s) has flat letter-interiors, clear letter outlines, and smooth curves; the depth is handled in external 3-D (either isometric or in one-point perpective). (I linked that SEEN piece in particular because it uses precisely the same opening loop as each of the NINE pieces; that feature is clearly derived from SEEN’s classical style). The post-90′s styles are much more complex, with no outline, depth indicated by realistic interior shading, “broken” and disconnected letter-forms, and two and three point perspective with varying vanishing points. These NINE pieces are hybrids, mixing the old style flat letters, where the depth mostly came from the 3-D, with the shaded interior-letter techniques that emerged in the mid-90′s. You see this most of all in the Diversey piece, where he’s working with four blue shades to give the letters a rounded interior look independent of one-point perspective exterior 3-D (in purple). Now, some of the blending is a little bit rushed and sloppy (the second N in the Diversey piece in particular), but these are rooftop burners, felony-charge burners, real graffiti, exit-value graffiti, not art murals for smiling liberals. I’ll give the guy a pass on some rushed blending. You also see the more angular cuts and broken letterforms (as I’ll show below), married with the old-style smoother curves, especially in the symmetrical loops that precede the first N’s and close the lower-case E’s. In a table of risk, then, for these reasons, this is well up there.

Graffiti Literacies

The crowd is crucial
MC’s grounds are neutral
Now that you’re here let me introduce you
Get ready
I’m hard to read like graffiti
But steady
Science I drop is real heavy

Rakim, Let the Rhythm Hit ‘Em

So I showed these to she, and she was suitably impressed (probably keying in on my excitement), but she gave me the usual “I can’t read that” line, even when I pointed out the letters. Nope, she said, I don’t see how you’re getting NINE out of that. In fact, all three pieces use the same basic outline, with some really interesting stylistic variations. But the letterforms are essentially identical. This cuts down the time it took NINE to complete these: he has a set piece that he does, and he doesn’t have to spend too much time messing around with the initial outline. Since I assumed some of you, dear readers, are in the same boat as she, I thought I’d take a minute to indicate the abstracted letterforms. So, in each of the following, I’ve reduced the image to about 75% transparency, and added a quick outline of the letterforms. You should see an uppercase N, a straight line for the I (it’s dotted in the Diversey piece), an uppercase N, and a lowercase E that overlaps with the second N. I didn’t do the Chicago and Franklin piece, but it works the same way.

diverseyletterforma
ninemontroseletterforma

Now I’ll take the images back up to 100%, but leave the rough outline:

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ninemontroseletterformb Obviously, there’s a lot more going on in both of these than the abstracted letterforms, and I almost feel bad butchering these pieces with those, but that’s what they look like. I left out the opening loop that precedes the first N in all three pieces in order to not confuse the start point for the N’s letterform. Just as another example, if you look again at the originals without the silly “Can you see it” outlines I threw on, you’ll notice that NINE consistently breaks the E at bottom curve, using elements of a broken N to suggest the letter shape. This is good stuff. But the point here is simple: the pieces don’t lose track of the letters (the “e” is obviously the same in all three – can you see it now in the Chicago and Franklin piece?). They are legible, if you’re meant to read them. In my view, the Diversey piece is the best overall, but the Montrose piece uses really strong angles; it’s the most complex of the three. Just so I don’t come off as too much of a fanboy, I will say that NINE is just an atrocious tagger. Guy can piece, but those tags are bush league, just awful. We take it where we can get it, I guess.

But that’s all for today kiddies. Hope you enjoyed.

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Feb 19 2009

Paulson Agonistes

Published by topspun under meltdown,pointless rants

Poor Hank Paulson. That’s the lesson we are to take away from the Frontline special on the meltdown that was so hyped even I bought into it here. (Don’t be fooled: I buy into 70% of That-Which-Is-Hyped). But sheesh. The doc set up a conflict between systemic risk and moral hazard, which were apparently the code words for Keynesian and Friedmanite responses to the financial crisis, where systemic risk required government intervention, while moral hazard resists seemingly incentivizing bad actors by removing the punishment for their bad behavior. Tra la la. These categories are typical enough, I suppose, and the way they played out in the doc was more typical still, with a fairly detailed discussion and definition of moral hazard, but only the vaguest notion of sudden, unforeseen “interconnection” between the big banks as a pseudo-explanation for systemic risk. The result is predictable enough: a notion of market actors comes through clear as day, while the systemic dynamics of finance capital are relegated to the hazy background of near total mystification. Would that any of us could understand such things! Silly me thought it was the purpose of the documentary to do just such explaining. Instead, the whole thing turns into some weird passion play around the yellow-toothed personage of Hank Paulson, caught in the grips of a struggle between his Free Market God and damnable exigencies of the crisis.   Despite the bad effects, I must admit that it was funny to re-live the moment (hilarious at the time) when Paulson is forced to nationalize Fannie and Freddie, then returns to the Friedmanite fold long enough to send Lehman Brothers to hell, only to have to reclaim the mantle of the apostate by saving the sorry default swapped asses of AIG. Oh, the sorrows of Hank Paulson! I remember a conversation I had with a friend some years ago in which I derided all war movies for being too personalized. He’d name a movie and I’d say, no, no! No fucking characters! A real war movie would have characters at the large unit level, the company and battalion level, and would show flashes, movement: hammer and anvil sweeps in the Mekong Delta, not little morality plays about individual soldiers and their two fathers (yes, Oliver Stone only ever made one movie, which involves a guy choosing between his two fathers: Catholicism never gives up).  No characters! It is the anti-Private Ryan, I said, where the trajectory of that film takes you from the utterly anonymous large unit level (undoubtedly the best part of the film as a war film), down and down until we learn Tom Hanks’ back story, and finally, with Matt Damon in the rubble, we reach the individual, the character. No. Not a good war movie, I said, except the first two minutes. I want the anti-Ken Burns style, where everybody gets to confess: I was there, and this is what happened. No! None of that. No characters. No personalities. Try, for once, to do pathos without the individual. Can we try? My friend said, sensibly, “But then it wouldn’t be a story.” Maybe not. Maybe that’s a good thing. And I’d apply the same logic to Inside the Meltdown. No goddamn characters! I don’t want to see a silly movie about Hank Paulson choosing between his two fathers, tortured by his choice. I would rather have watched a simulation of the money transfers flickering on screens in Luxembourg clearing houses, anonymous traders, the flow of documents through Lehman, through Goldman. No. We get stories about Hank Paulson and his personal struggle with his faith. Pointless.

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Feb 17 2009

Documenting the Disaster

Published by topspun under meltdown

I want to put in  a plug for the PBS documentary Inside the Meltdown, which will start airing online and on television tonight. More than the war, more than the foreign policy catastrophe, more than 9/11 and Katrina, the financial meltdown is the key event of the Bush years, that era’s intense and perhaps even logical conclusion. It really encapsulates the history of the last thirty years, a full cycle, in the same way the financial restructuring of the late-1960′s and early-1970′s  affect our present far more than, say, the Vietnam War. Whether this particular documentary will be any good, I don’t know. But while my historical sensibility usually prevents me from saying “everything’s changed…it’s all different now!,” I think there are moments, events, that shift configurations so drastically that you have to say that. Clearly, it’s too soon to peg the goings-on in the financial industry – and, more specifically, the week of September 15, 2008 (and your heroic narrator was well on top of that) – as one of those events, there’s already a good argument to be made there. Obviously, she works in the industry, so we’ve had a close tie to it all throughout the Bush era. I also worked in the industry, and even loved it, even loved those years closing asset backed security deals and insurance demutualizations. So we’ve watched this with a not disinterested horror/fascination: the collapse of Lehman and Bear Stearns were just as unbelievable – truly unbelievable – as the collapse of the World Trade Center, so grand and terrible and, yes, oddly beautiful as to be even sublime. So I’ll plug the documentary with these sneak peeks from the Frontline site. You can also check out the Salon review here.

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Feb 14 2009

You’re Pretty But You’re Boring

Published by topspun under Sooooo meta,art,chicago

I used to want to plant bombs at the Last Night of the Proms
But now you’ll find me with the baby, in the bathroom,
With that big shell, listening for the sound of the sea

- Billy Bragg, Brickbat

In my business, many of the people you know end up working in relatively isolated locations, Giant State Universities and Smaller Schools all across the country. And when they bump into me, they often say “You’re so lucky to live in Chicago,” to which I usually respond, “Why, they don’t have Blockbuster Video and pizza where you live?” Because the truth is, we very rarely get to go out, partly because babysitting is a ridiculously complicated sort of affair, and partly because, well, we’re like old and stuff. This was at no time more clear than on our odyssey last night.

We dropped babygirl off with some friends who also have a 3-year old; we swap babysitting nights with them to reduce costs. Our destination? Quimby’s bookstore in Wicker Park, where our friend from Giant University Town had organized a reading from his literary magazine, PANK, to coincide with the big Association of Writers and Writing Programs (AWP) conference, which is here in Chicago this year. Quimby’s is a cool little independent bookstore that she and I took to calling the Porn Comix store on account of all the porn comics, but that’s just because we’re like old and stuff, and nowhere near hip enough for the place, or for porn comics. So I parked myself next to the anarchist and Chomsky books and directly in front of the sadomasochism erotica rack, while she sat on the floor, ready to meditate. We met Work Colleague there: I think he was expecting drinks! I’ll have to admit that, though I’ve been to a lot of such readings, I never know quite what to make of them. I think fairly visually when it comes to text; I will generally know where on a page a particular point appeared, even in long books, so there’s something about written text that just resonates with me. It is, of course, a common conceit that poetry and literary prose are better when read aloud, spoken, uttered, but I’m not convinced that there isn’t a bit of the old Platonic disdain of writing itself involved in such judgments, as though some degraded second order signifier had usurped the close relationship between speaking and thought, and we’re trying to recapture it through spoken readings. I’m enough of a Derridean to at least be suspicious about such pronouncements. So I think when I hear writing spoken, it throws me off, and I spend too much time trying to envision it on the page, trying to catch the poetics by reconstructing the visual text. But the bottom line is that my judgments are never clear (or probably reliable) on these things, because I have difficulty encountering language in these ways. I don’t want a writer to have a “voice.” I want a voice to have a text.

In any case, there were some memorable parts of the readings that I managed to process despite my general incapacity to get into the rhythm of such things. Jennifer Pieroni read an unpublished poem called “Unlucky Babies,” the point of which seemed to be that all the qualities considered admirable by literary bohemians (poor hand-eye coordination, the capacity to see the strange and beautiful in the ugly, and the like) are generally considered “unlucky” in culture. It’s a poem about eugenia, in other words, the “well born” and “beautiful,” but quibbling on the point of a poem always strikes me as missing the point, so to speak. Pieroni created an interesting list poem, and the rhythm sticks with me. Rachel Yoder then read an epistolary essay titled, I think, “Letters to My First Love,” in which the narrator (R.) sends a series of unanswered notes (I almost said “missives,” but resisted the urge) to her first love (M.) at the instigation of her professor – a curious set up that I would have liked to hear more about. As the essay stands, it is like a self-conscious contemplation of self-indulgence, complete with references to Jacques Lacan and the general problematic of the adequation of words and things. The clear tension that then emerges between the self-conscious and the self-indulgent was its most memorable quality. At one point, for example, the narrator notes that she used to think people who claimed to like Jim Jarmusch films were pretentious assholes, but now she likes them, and maybe thinks that she is herself a pretentious asshole, etc. About that speed throughout. Personally, I found the repetitions of M. and R. (the address and signature) for each letter to be somewhat disorienting, but maybe that’s what she was going for. Perhaps dates would have separated the letters without introducing this odd repetition (we know M. never replies!). My favorite of the night was James Grinwis’ poetry, largely because I don’t remember its content at all, but remember it to be really jarring and cutting. This is an exception to my usual incapacity to be struck by spoken language; I’m not sure what he did poetically, but it was aggressive and dark and sumptuous – I really dug it. He was also the most understatedly funny speaker of the night in my view: he described how his sister-in-law had bought him a writing journal which required daily entries (and the fullness of that story was just wonderfully suggestive: one imagines the sister-in-law bemoaning the bohemian existence of her executive husband’s younger ne’er-do-well brother, whom she refers to sardonically as “The Poet,” until her thoughtful friend – a sorority sister from her college days, perhaps – suggests that she encourage him in his writing career, advice she takes to heart by buying him a writing journal in an expensive luggage store, and presenting it with a self-satisfied if pitying grin on Christmas morning, in front of the whole family…). So he had filled out many dates early on, jumping well ahead of the actual date, but was now well behind. This struck me as glorious revenge on the sister-in-law, and her real scheme, which would be to enforce some discipline on his writing practices, if he was going to be a writer after all. Grinwis conveyed all this in a kind of dazed, drunken deadpan. Hilarious.

Daniel Nester then read an essay about his guitar playing skills, or relative lack thereof, and the many technical devices he had purchased to make up for them, culminating in the dreaded talk box. Nester’s essay was charming and funny, switching between contemporary rock history and self-deprecating autobiography, but I found it interesting, I think, because it really delves into the problem of failing at that which one loves, of capacities. It’s much easier for us to accept the notion of musical capacities than capacities in other areas of activity, and particularly writing. I think this is what the literary people have over the composition studies people: they recognize that writing requires a set of capacities just like anything else, and that some people just cap out at a certain point. Such a conception is anathema to a writing studies that likes to think of itself as democratic: it first elevates writing to the general mode of existing in common and participating in public, and then must derive a universal capacity for good writing that merely requires good teaching. What Nester’s essay emphasizes, I think, is that even a deep love for an activity and years of practice don’t guarantee even moderately passable performance. The capping out of performance capacity would then, a fortiori, come even sooner when someone evinces hardly any interest in a thing. Say, the average student in a first-year composition classroom. If, however, writing is the key to power and voice in a democracy, one simply cannot admit such a thing, because it would imply second-class citizenship. The problem of capacities, in this way, becomes the unspoken (though certainly not ungraded) monster (unlucky baby!) haunting the composition classroom, and more so the more a teacher is trained in the democratic ideology of composition. But Nester’s essay will have none of this. He keeps bumping up against the problem of capacities: his nubby fingers only stretch four frets, he lacks hand-eye coordination (unlucky baby!), and similar insuperable problems prevent him from becoming the guitar player he wants to be. At a pudgy forty, he is rejected by younger, hipper bands, with their floppy-haired lead singers even slamming the door in his face. He wants to “play out,” which is to say, in public, but does so only ten times thus far in his life (a few times with a band called “Fear Itself” – I told you it was funny). And he purchases all manner of device to cover his incapacities, even the talk box, the hideous talk box. There’s much to contemplate in this description. Certainly, one cannot immediately lend guitar-playing the same equivalency with democracy that writing attains, even as an empirical matter: writing, literacy, has a snugger fit with its supposed political twin. But it would be an interesting thought experiment. At one point, Nester notes that if he was as bad a writer as he was a guitar player, the reader (and we were listeners, again) would be reading “jabberwocky” (I like Carroll, so this struck me as off). But why not? Why not consider the writer who loves it, but can’t do it? Why not consider those capacities that stand in the way? Why restrict such incapacities to the musical instrument, the paintbrush, the dance?

Finally, Sheila Squillante read a poem and a short essay. Squillante was the only speaker whose writing I am somewhat familiar with, and, quite frankly, I consider her a brilliant stylist. Again, I’ve seen her writing: I think of it as text on a page, so this may affect my impressions. In any case, by this time, she (who is, let’s remember, 7 months pregnant) was getting a little uncomfortable, so I was a bit distracted from Squillante’s reading. But she won back my attention on the second part of her essay, during which she describes the encounter with a tribe of wild chickens in the Pacific Northwest. The very notion of undomesticated chickens is, of course, resonant in itself: the ultimate in domesticated and bred animal returning to a natural state. That said, I’ll usually key in on some words or image. In this case, Squillante said something like “Those chickens owned that piece of land,” with the real emphasis on owned, just an odd but powerful word in this context. She described their wild tails, completely beyond the range of what we’d consider a chicken, and likened her reaction to seeing her doctor out at the grocery store, or in an airport gift shop: they were at first unrecognizable as chickens. For some reason this just grabbed me, as Squillante’s prose has done before. There’s something lyrical to her prose and images that I just appreciate.

So, you’re pretty but you’re boring. Obviously, I’m not referring to the readings in the subject line, but to us, Seven Red. And, really, you might split the difference, assign one quality to each of us, and be done with it. Getting back to the theme, in any case, of being like old and stuff. After the readings, we gabbed a bit with our friends, but decided against going out for drinks with the whole AWP crew, largely because we were very hungry, and this was sort of their thing, and we had no confidence that they would be moving in under ten minutes. And this is where the odyssey of being old and stuff begins. We walk out of the bookstore, looking for a place where she and I can eat, but Work Colleague can drink (he is desperate for beer by now, having expected to have been drinking for an hour already – and this is a tough expectation to have squelched). Here’s the result of that search:

  1. Aberdeen – We start off at the bar directly next store to Quimby’s. We walk into a wall of sonic loud that would knock you down, some real shit techno, awful. It was so loud that I was literally scared for the babybelly. It was so loud in there that even saying ‘It’s too loud in here” was a massive struggle. We walked out immediately, probably looking like those squares who storm out of the theater in the middle of Pink Flamingos.
  2. Wicker Park Tavern – We find another bar-restaurant, and get an actual table: a miracle. The waitress then tells us that the kitchen, which they share with the restaurant Absinthe, is too busy to make anything but appetizers for us. Well, what are the appetizers? Nachos and fucking wings. Unacceptable. We leave soon after.
  3. Crossing Damen three times: we then cross Damen three times looking at various places. They are all full, closed, or just dodge. It suddenly occurs to me that everybody around us is under 28 and dressed to the hilts, except the grifters.
  4. Some Pasta Place – In desperation, we walk into a contemporary Italian style restaurant, which looks pretty full from the outside. Ah, what the hell. We’re optimists. The hostess tells us “Oh, it’ll be about 40 minutes,” as if our car won’t turn back into a pumpkin at the babysitting expiration time we set for 10pm. Yes, ten. We storm out without even saying “No thank you.” What next? First, we have to get the hell out of Wicker Park. she decides that we’ll drive back to our own neighborhood, where at least 40% of the people out in the bars at night are safely in their thirties, and she’ll drop me and Work Colleague off. Off we go.
  5. Garcia’sshe has given up on the night. She’ll just go get babygirl while we get drinks, and grab something to eat at home. She drops us off by the Western station on the Brown Line, saying “Don’t stay out too late.” And we head for the Huettenbar in Lincoln Square (one of my favorites). Halfway there, I decide we have to eat something, so let’s go to Garcia’s for a burrito and some beer before we go to Huettenbar. Garcia’s is packed: every table is filled, the bar is filled, and twenty people are waiting for tables. Where’s this bad economy? I curse under my breath, determined to drink on a now well empty stomach. Off to Huettenbar!
  6. Huettenbar – I walk in, show my ID to the grungy looking bouncer kid. But Work Colleague doesn’t have ID! No ID! “I don’t drive,” he says, and tries to show the kid his Unnamed Employer Institution ID card, which states that we are faculty. The kid says no dice. Mind you, I’m in my mid-thirties, and Work Colleague is several years older than me. It would be a strange universe indeed in which we could pass for under 21. But there we are, getting turned away at the door of a bar. “I don’t drive,” Work Colleague says again, apologetically, “I don’t have ID.” How the fuck do you get on an airplane? I mutter. He responds, sensibly, “With my passport.” Hmm.
  7. Skewers – We truck down Lincoln in the now falling snow, heading to a place called Skewers. We get there: out of fucking business. Welll, shit now. This is starting to look like fate. But right next door…
  8. Jack Rabbit – We finally get a table in Jack Rabbit, a little nouvelle Mexican bistro operation on Lincoln. I’m exhausted and starving. I eat a fajita (damn good) and drink one – yes, ONE – Negro Modelo, then we pretty much agree that it’s time to head home. I’m in the house before 10:15. Unlucky baby.

So that’s the story of Seven Red’s big night out in Chicago. Luckily, Blockbuster gets new videos every Tuesday.

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