Aug 15 2008
Disputations
In the last month, we’ve noticed a marked increase in babygirl‘s capacity to dispute our assertions (and, quite frankly, commands). Up until recently, her disputations mostly took the form of a squealing hell-tantrum. Noticing diminishing returns on this strategy, she’s actually started deploying some rhetorical forms. Someday, someone’s going to get really clever and do the rhetorical analysis of the two-year old, probably to prove some Chomskyite point or other. Yes, I know Melanie Klein already did it, but I mean somebody else. So I’ll get ‘em started:
1. The “I’m just…” Strategy: Used when she wants to continue an act she’s just been forbidden from continuing, babygirl‘s “I’m just” strategy involves repeating the very thing she was told not to do, but prefacing it with “I’m just…” Presumably, this strategy is designed to minimize the forbidden action, thereby making it more acceptable.
Example
topspun: babygirl, stop bending that cabinet back right now!
babygirl: No, I’m just bending the cabinet back.
2. The Emphatic Need Approach: It’s shocking that one of the standard responses of Western culture is already well embedded at two years six months. When told that action A is off the table, or that action B is the current plan, your interlocutor tells you that he or she really needs to do action A. This has really become babygirl’s go-to move: I need… It is usually stated emphatically at this stage (more experienced users know that the more casually the need is stated, the more it will seem like a real need to the interlocutor), and seems to be paired with both an urgency marker (“right now”) and a drawn out “OK” that turns the whole statement of need into a question.
Example
topspun: babygirl, get your shoes on. It’s time for school.
babygirl: No, but I NEEEED to go on the computer right now, o-kaaaay?
3. I Already Said That: Not so much a disputation as a direct challenge and slicing cut, babygirl uses the “I already said that” to essentially demonstrate her fundamental argumentative superiority. Later on in life, she will use the more common expression, “Fucked if I’d talk to anyone as dumb as you.”
Example
topspun: See the stop sign?
babygirl: No, dop dine.
topspun: Stop sign.
babygirl: Dop dine.
topspun: Stop sign.
babygirl: Dop dine.
topspun: Sssssstop ssssssign.
babygirl: Dop dine.
topspun: Stop sign. It’s an “S.” Ssssssstop sssssssign.
babygirl: I already said stop sign.
This is hysterical and exactly right. Both J and M use variations of these techniques; but I had no idea they were universally employed in the kiddo world. In addition, M will frequently exploit my tendency to repeat her sentences back at her as a way of ensuring she gets what she wants.
M: mama, wanna have more aminal cwacker?
me (trying to clarify what she’s saying) Umm.. you want to have some more animal crackers?
M: Ok mama, let’s have some more animal crackers.
How’d that just happen?
S
I love the “I’m just…” routine. I use it on Jeff all the time, except I call it the “Calm down” routine. (He says, “We don’t need to order anymore toys right now!” I say, “Calm down. I’m just ordering some toys on Amazon.”)
At 15 months, we are only now at the “No!” stage. I guess I’m sorta fucked because I think it’s cute.
this is hilarious…. we are living in the “i neeeeeeeeeeeed water.” “i neeeeeeed Thomas (the train)” so I can relate.
Enjoy her!