Seven Red

Ugh. I’m ready to go odds-and-evens on this one.

When I was a kid, we used to go odds-and-evens to pick teams (the winner would pick first). I guess everyone knows odds-and-evens, but if you don’t, it’s very simple, like Rock-Paper-Scissors. The two captains announce as an odd or an even number (as in, “I’m odds.”), then face off, and – on a given signal – extend either one finger or two. The sum of their choices can therefore be 2, 3, or 4. If the sum is odd, the person who announced as odd wins the round, etc. It was usually best of three.

For some reason, the “signal” required both captains to shake a balled fist in a motion that portended other activities once puberty hit, while saying in unison:

Odds-and-evens says SHOOT!

On “shoot,” you would hold out your selection (one finger or two). There were also “latesies,” if one captain tried to gain an unfair advantage by waiting a split second to see what the other captain presents. Accusations of latesies were often met with the rather cogent rebuttal of “Naw, naw it wasn’t!” or “Bullshit, motherfucker!” There was one final twist. If you won the round, you had to announce it thusly: “Mine.” So your typical best of three odds-and-evens sounded like this:

Odds-and-evens says SHOOT!
Mine.
Odds-and-evens says SHOOT!
Mine.
Odds-and-evens says SHOOT!
Mine.
Latesies!
Bullshit, motherfucker!

I say we go odds-and-evens on the Democratic primary. It’s time. Let’s do it. We can get Obama and Clinton together in a fancy room and go best-of-seven. Anti-democratic? Perhaps. But think of the advantages. Chris Matthews would have to find a real job.

Trackback URI | Comments RSS |