Aug 05 2007
Moved in
Alright, kiddies. We are all moved into our new digs here in Chicago. Of course, there were numerous hiccups. First, when we arrived the landlord was here finishing up work on our unit. Ooops. He couldn’t get the gas on in time. No worries, right? We don’t need heat…it’s 95 degrees. Yeah, well, we do need gas for cooking, and apparently hot showers, and running the dryer, and all that good stuff. Sheeet. So, it’s cold showers and cold cuts and the occasional microwave meal — although these have always, always made me sick. The gas goes on tomorrow (or so we’ve heard), so I’m looking forward to a nice hot shower and something well and truly pan-fried.
But all these conveniences of modern life pale in comparison to the true fuck up that occurred at AT&T, leaving me fresh out of internets. Knowing that I am a true junky, I of course ordered my DSL super early, and, indeed, it was turned on the night of August 1. All good, yes? No. There was no phone box; the phone guy came and hooked that up on August 3. OK so, two days without internets is not so bad. But there’s more. When I ordered, I asked whether my DSL modem that I used with Verizon would work. Yes, of course, they said. Good, then I’ll cancel the equipment order and just configure with that one. Ah, to assume. Apparently, my DSL modem is not configurable with AT&T, so now I have to wait until Tuesday (or maybe – horrors! – Thursday) to get me some internets. My language on the phone with the AT&T sales rep was, to put it mildly, colorful.
So now I’m poaching off a kind neighbor, perhaps the last person in America with an unsecured wireless connection, and thank you very much, kind neighbor, for this little slice of the infosphere. I’ll keep it short in order to lessen the burden on your kindness. Please don’t hijack my now very exposed email and myspace passwords to send angry missives to all my internets peoples, for they are much better peoples than I am, and don’t deserve your anger. Besides, I love you kind neighbor, just as you have loved me with your beautiful unsecured wireless.
Now, to quote the much underappreciated 1990′s rapper Lord Finesse (who penned the unforgettable lines “Now get off, let off, step off cuz you’re soft/ Stop blushin’/ I’m rushin’/ Like Mikhail Gorbachev), I’m gonna do like some wack MC’s, give kind neighbor’s wireless a break, and “play the background” and “get my act together.” I’ll see you again, faithful readers, when AT&T gets its motherfucking act together.
Recent Comments